An article to enrich our study of Surrender

This morning's reading from The Purpose Fairy from the following link:

http://www.purposefairy.com/3308/15-things-you-should-give-up-in-order-to-be-happy/

Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

1. Give up your need to always be right. There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. Give up your need for control. Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu

3. Give up on blame. Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk. Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.
“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle

5. Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!
“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle

6. Give up complaining. Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. Give up the luxury of criticism. Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. Give up your need to impress others. Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take of all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. Give up your resistance to change. Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell

10. Give up labels. Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

11. Give up on your fears. Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.
“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. Give up your excuses. Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. Give up the past. I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. Give up attachment. This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another,  attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations. Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves.  You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

 http://www.purposefairy.com/3308/15-things-you-should-give-up-in-order-to-be-happy/

The Fourth Niyama - Swadyaya (Self-Study)

For the month of March we were contemplating the fourth of Patanjali's niyamas: Swadyaya which can be translated as self-observation or self-study.  In simplest terms we attempt to do this consciously throughout our yoga class - observing our breath, our alignment, our self-talk, and our vibrations and energy ignited by our practice.  We go deeper when we work with different breathing practices to see how they effect the body, when we investigate our alignment for safety and stability so that our body can open up to a greater flow of energy, when we look deeper into our self-talk to see what habit energies we carry, what stories we continue to repeat that may or may not serve us well.

 

One of our yoga sisters shared this quote from Marianne Williamson: "Are you whining about a painful yesterday, or preparing for a joyful tomorrow?  Whatever your choice is will determine your day."  This was an especially helpful spark for self-study to look at what we reinforce in our mind.  If we keep repeating the negative stories, we don't have the space to be open to receive joy and love.  Not to say we shouldn't honor the difficult feelings when they arise.  But the key word seems to be "whining."  Though it may sound harsh.  It seems to serve a key distinction about whether we are processing our difficulties to transform them or repeating the story and the sub-text that may be an old record we play repeatedly that just keeps us stuck in suffering.

 

"Yesterday is already gone, tomorrow is not yet here. Today is the only day available to us.  Today is the most important day of our lives."

Thich Nhat Hanh

 

**************************************************************************************************

 

Our chant for the month was Om Mane Padme Hum, to honor the jewel inside the lotus.  We used the lotus as a metaphor for our own challenges and growth since we know a beautiful lotus flower grows can only grow out of the mud.  In our self-study, we notice our difficulties, where we get stuck, and when we act unskillfully so we can learn from those moments and transform our pain and suffering to shine our light ever brighter.

 

Thich Nhat Hanh says: 

"Life is filled with suffering, but it is also filled with many wonders, like the blue sky, the sunshine, the eyes of a baby.  To suffer is not enough.  We must also be in touch with the wonders of life.  They are within us and all around us, everywhere, any time."

 

"All the wonderful things that you are looking for -- happiness, peace, and joy -- can be found inside of you.  You do not need to look anywhere else."

 

One of our yoga sisters shared a quote from Wayne Dyer which impacted her and by her sharing it, all of us:   "Be independent of the good intentions of other people's opinions."  Sometimes we give away our power or our freedom when we allow other people's opinions to effect our peace.  This is an important part of self-study.  How are we impacted by the energy, behaviors, and words of others?  Can we strengthen our practice to maintain our equanimity even when those around us are not being kind or compassionate?  It can be as simple as coming back to your breath and body in a difficult moment.  Breathe deeply.  Become aware of your breathing.  Notice the energy or feel of your body.  Is there tension? shakiness? a volcanic eruption waiting to happen?  Can we make a space for a moment to pause and change course? change the self-talk? change the vibration in the body?

 

May we remember to breathe deeply, mindfully.  May we remember the impermanence of everything which helps us endure difficulties and celebrate joys because neither lasts forever.  When we get in touch with the deeper place inside that knows calm, peace, equanimity; that knows how to navigate through this life; we embody our true nature: boundless peace, love, and compassion for self and all beings because as Thich Nhat Hanh says:  "I am not superior to you.  I am not inferior to you.  I am not even equal to you.  I am you."

And, I'll close with a poem written by a dear friend.

Lotus Flower  

    by Yasmin Haut

Only from mud and moist underneath potential 

    can this proliferation of green spring.

So too for you and me.

Reconciliation requires reaching down thru

    the dark waters where the lotus sends

    her roots.

 

Only then (by rooting around in the bottom

    of the pond) can life flow again.

Petals sweeten and peel back.

Sun, senses and sensibilities sharpen,

    soften, merge.

Only modesty is difficult in this brillance.

 

Om Mane Padme Hum

 

The Third Niyama - Tapas (Discipline)

For the month of February, we contemplated the third niyama, tapas, which can be translated as discipline.  Often this concept is applied to a vigorous asana practice which can help burn through our obstacles of body and mind.  It seems no accident that is comes after saucha (purity) and santosha (contentment) in the niyamas so that we are mindful of our inner light, our connection to the divine and raising our awareness of our blessings and the ways in which we have enough in our life.  We also want the remember the yamas as a foundation for our tapas:  ahimsa (non-violence/compassion), satya (truth), asteya (non-stealing), brahmacharya (balanced life), aparigraha (non-possessiveness); so that we do not get caught in shame, pride, or guilt as we work on our tapas practice.

We can begin by noticing the areas in our lives that we are disciplined in our thoughts, words, and/or actions.  Recognizing we already have the ability for steadfast attention and commitment to the path we want to travel in this life.  Building our awareness of our strengths.  And, from that place, choosing another area that we may be ready to dedicate our efforts toward refining our behaviors for the betterment of ourselves and to come more in line with our inner light.  Gold is purified by fire.  We ignite our inner fire (tapas) to keep us empowered to stay on the path.  Where does that inspiration and ignition come from? 

All the aspects of our yoga practice fuel this fire.  All the elements of nature and all the planes of consciousness fuel this fire.  We come into our bodies, we come back to our breath, we quiet and focus our mind, and delve deeper into our own witness consciousness and wisdom which helps guide us on our path.  We recognize and accept the support of our many sanghas (communities of support on the path):  in our yoga classes, our meditation groups, our churches, our families, our friends, our co-workers...all those who inspire us and shine their light so we may see ourselves reflected in that light.  We are inspired by so many teachers in our lives who share the dharma and the wisdom that keeps bringing us back to perspective and the knowledge of interbeing (we are not alone).  We cultivate awareness of our subtle body during our asana, pranayama, and meditation practice so we realize how BIG we are, vibrating with life and energy, capable of enjoying such amazing delights in this world and holding a space for our own and others pain that we may more easily transform our suffering.

We chanted the long form of the Gayatri Mantra this month to tune into the elements of nature and planes of consciousness, recognizing the reflection of those elements in us, connecting them with the seven chakras of the subtle body.  We looked at using The Fourth Mindfulness Training as a tapas practice:  focusing on loving kind speech and compassionate listening.  And, we supported each other in either continuing or beginning a daily practice of meditation or asana or chanting or inspirational reading or prayer or some combination of those.  We talked about setting up a special place in your room or your home or apartment for this practice so the energy of it may grow and feed you and keep bringing you back. 

Let us continue to support each other on the path.  Sharing our insights, our practice, our challenges, and our delights.  I look forward to hearing from you and sharing the practice.

Lokah Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu

Blessings of Peace, Love, and Ease of Living to you and your beloveds and to all beings!


The Fourth Mindfulness Training
Loving Speech and Deep Listening

Aware of the suffering caused by unmindful speech and the inability to listen to others, I am committed to cultivating loving speech and compassionate listening in order to relieve suffering and to promote reconciliation and peace in myself and among other people, ethnic and religious groups, and nations. Knowing that words can create happiness or suffering, I am committed to speaking truthfully using words that inspire confidence, joy, and hope. When anger is manifesting in me, I am determined not to speak. I will practice mindful breathing and walking in order to recognize and to look deeply into my anger. I know that the roots of anger can be found in my wrong perceptions and lack of understanding of the suffering in myself and in the other person. I will speak and listen in a way that can help myself and the other person to transform suffering and see the way out of difficult situations. I am determined not to spread news that I do not know to be certain and not to utter words that can cause division or discord. I will practice Right Diligence to nourish my capacity for understanding, love, joy, and inclusiveness, and gradually transform anger, violence, and fear that lie deep in my consciousness.

Thich Nhat Hanh, Plum Village
http://www.plumvillage.org/mindfulness-trainings/3-the-five-mindfulness-trainings.html

Gayatri Mantra, Long Form

Om Bhur 
Om Bhuvaha  

Om Swaha

Om Maha 

Om Janaha   

Om Tapaha  

Om Satyam

                             

Om Tat Savitur Varenyam                       

Bhargo Devasya Dhimahi                          

Dhiyo Yonaha Prochodayat

Some quotes and readings to inspire Santosha (Contentment)

"Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go out and do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." 

~ Howard Thurman 

 

"Five most common regrets of the dying: 

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. 

2. I wish I didn't work so hard. 

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings. 

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. 

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier. "

-Harshada David Wagner

 

Today, like every other day, we wake up empty
and frightened.  Don't open the door to the study 
and begin reading.  Take down a musical instrument.


Let the beauty we love be what we do.
The are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.

-Rumi,



The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don't go back to sleep.


You must ask for what you really want.
Don't go back to sleep.


People are going back and forth across the doorsill
where to two worlds touch.


The door is round and open.
Don't go back to sleep.

-Rumi

Healing, a poem by Danna Faulds

As we work with our practice on Santosha, contentment, we see that there are times when it is easy to feel contentment and other times when it is a struggle.  We want to find a path to contentment in all of those times.  Not to say that it is easy.  Or, to say that you just shake your head and say "snap out of it."  It is a worthwhile and deep practice to look deeply into our moments of delight and our challenging moments.  What is present in our body in those moments?  How is your breath in those moments?  What are the stories we tell ourselves in those moments?  Can we tune into a deeper place inside that can be witness to all of it, the place that can get really big and hold all of it?  The more we do our yoga practices of body, breath, and mind, the more smoothly and easily we can move to that channel that helps us find healing of pain, transformation of suffering, and Contentment.

Healing

There is healing in the laying on of hands;
in the letting go of fear, in asking for help,
in silence, celebration, prayer. There is
healing in speaking the truth and in keeping
still, in seeking sunlight and not shunning
struggle. Laughter and the affirmation of
wholeness hold their owwn healing.  When
the soul dances, when the day begins in
delight, when love grows and cannot be
contained, when life flows from moment
to moment, healing happens in the space
between thoughts, and the breath before
the first sung note.  Healing is a birthright
and a grace.   When we dare to be open to
the unknown, when we extend ourselves
in caring, when we welcome in the vast
expanse of life, healing comes from the
heart, and blossoms from the inside out.


pg. 50, Go In and In, Poems from the Heart of Yoga, (c) 2002

The Second Niyama - Santosha (Contentment)

How timely that on our journey through the Yamas and Niyamas from Pantanjali's Yoga Sutras that we land on Santosha - Contentment for the month of January.  As we look back on the year 2011, at our challenges and delights, we can try to put them in perspective to see how we continue to grow and learn from the unique path of our lives.  We can see how our lives are intertwined with so many others including family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, and even those as far away as the other side of the globe.  Honoring our journey and realizing so many others share similar challenges, we can grow our compassion for self and other and come closer to learning the lessons we are given and seeing how we grow from each step along the way.  (See last post - poem Foundation Stones).  Below is a lovely affirmation on Santosha that comes from Kripalu Center for Yoga to help us deepen our practice and experience of contentment.

"I am content.  I am grateful for what I have and for what I don’t have.  I learn from the joys and the disappointments Life brings me.  I honor the good in myself and others.  I refrain from criticism and fault-finding.  I accept Life just the way it is.  I enjoy my Life!"